Open Letter of Apology to Bobby

Dear Bobby,

Please accept my apology for dragging your good name through the mud.

After we spoke yesterday it became clear that I acted in a manner that may have been hurtful. So, after apologizing to you over the phone for hurting your feelings I wanted to send a letter numerating how I have wronged you.

Things I am apologizing for:
1. The often and frequent insinuations that I may have had inappropriate relations with the maternal side of Bobby's family.
2. The inappropriate relations that I had with Bobby himself.
3. The insinuation that Bobby's maternal side may have sexually contracted diseases
4. The frequent jokes about bobby being a butt doctor. In reality, Bobby is a neurosurgeon. He just enjoys butt play.
5. The sarcasm of this apology letter; its not my fault. I am truly sorry. I just have a difficult time expressing myself sincerely.
6. Bobby's poor choice in who he chooses to be friends with.
7. The insidious insinuation that Bobby has sexual relations with pets.
8. The Day of Rage. I apologize to all the innocents who were harmed by the ensuing mayhem after I declared that there be a day of rage.
9. The entire concept of Free Ethan.

Things I am not apologizing for:
1. Everything that I said up to the point of Bobby banishing me from further posting in the league. This was unprecedented and bordering on cruel and unusual. Seriously - everyone knows that I need an outlet.
2. Bobby having a crap fantasy team. This is his own fault.

Bobby - I do apologize. I am passing the peace pipe made out of an olive branch, decommissioning the site and hoping to move past the genius that was Free Ethan.

Ethan
ps Please stay tuned for my new blog - "Titan of Etiquette"