VICTORY!!!!

Friends and compatriots,

Today we can declare VICTORY. Bobby crumbled under the pressure. I don't know if it was the weight of this community or 27 days of my fasting or knowing that not allowing me to post in our league only hurts himself. There are so many possibilities; none of which I will explore. What will I explore? Why did Bobby become an ass surgeon:

1. The perks. When an ass surgeon gets accredited by the ass surgeon academy, all ass surgeons get unlimited anal bleachings. This was a perk that Bobby could not turn down since he became addicted to anal bleachings in his sophomore year of high school.
2. Bobby became an ass surgeon because he thought he would be able to bleach his patient's anuses. Bobby was incorrect.
(By the way - I just read this to Emma who asked, "Ethan why are you obsessed with anal bleaching"? My response: Why is Bobby obsessed with anal bleaching.)
3. Because there's no other profession that gets farted on more often than those in ass surgery. Who wouldn't want a career where you go home smelling like a medley of farts? Bobby didn't have to spend 7 years in med-school to make this happen. He just needed to spend some time with my in-laws (who - by the way - read this blog).
4. Because he secretly loves that after becoming a surgeon his idiot friends can still ride him harder than I ride his grandma every Tuesday.
5. The CME conferences. Do you know how much fun it is to spend a weekend with other ass surgeons?
6. All the pull my finger jokes.

Within a few days I will be decommissioning this site and starting a new blog titled, "Ethan: Titan of Etiquette". This blog will explore all the ways that I have mastered etiquette and all the ways that you must improve yours.